Looking Forward

This really is me, looking forward...  For such a while now I have been looking forward to not being pregnant anymore.  But now I am looking forward to holding my newest little treasure in my arms.  I am looking forward to being Mommy of a newborn again.  I am looking into my future.  And I look MUCH better than I look right now!  ;)  I am also quite a bit more physically comfortable in my future than I am right now!  Ha!

I am looking toward the future with GREAT expectancy and joy and peace.  I am looking into my future of love ever increasing.  For I am not of those who draw back, but of those who press forward!  And I will be doing that very soon... pushing. Pushing my future into now... Literally, eh?

I am full.  I am joyful.  I am peaceful.  I am full of life!  HA!!!

seeing

Greatly Loved

I lived an incredible day today. I experienced love. I felt love today. I sensed it. Acceptance. Strength. Safety. Desire. Covering. Loyalty. Appreciation. Encouragement. Needed. Valued. Truth. Lies displaced. Beauty. Tears. Laughter. Peace. Joy.

Just to hear it... choose to believe it.

Thank you friends/family/sisters.  I am loved by you.

Pieces.

I home school. I like order. I like productivity. I like action. I like structure. Today all structure is struggle. By 11am everything was in pieces. Not orderly, productively, actively, structurally working together - at all. I kind of don't like today right now. It's 11:21am. At least I have hope. Whether or not things return to structure or productivity, I can choose to like them. Well... I don't really like the pools of spit that one of my children deposited for me (to prove a point). I don't really care for the stacks of books and paper at my feet or the torn wall hanging or the crevice in the table that my other child left for me... but I can get over all of that. I have to, in fact. Put the pieces back together... or just walk around them.

She has gone.

My sister has gone.  She is on her way to the airport even now.  I have a sad six year old in my home.  I too am sad to see my sister go.  It was a wonderful time.  And now it is gone.  I have only the memories (impromptu viewing of Salt in the cinema) complimented by a few photos (like Freddos on Fridays) and some beautifully colored furniture.  Everyone should have a sister that is a FRIEND.  She is one of my best friends.  I don't know when I will see her again, talk to her again, squeeze her again, laugh with her again, drink a creamy-cold-coffee-drink with her again or cry with her again, but... again.  It shall all happen again.