Proud of Myself

Today was a day for the introvert (self). Both girls at school a full day meant I was able to plan little and do much or not, of whatever fills me. I actually didn't feel (too) guilty today, either. I guess I'm learning to chill out. I dropped the girls off, had a chat with one of my dearest girl friends, headed to Target and spent two hours trying things on! TWO HOURS! In my non-chilled-out-life, I would have been (self) tortured if I spent two hours trying clothes on. But that's just what I did today. And it was great. I even BOUGHT something & felt only a tiny bit guilty (I had gift cards, so it wasn't like I was spending "real" money - maybe that's how I justified the purchases). In previous non-chilled-out-life I wouldn't have purchased anything (that would have been part of the punishment: Did you just waste two hours trying clothes on? Then no clothes for you!) Not only did I buy things for myself (not for the kids) I actually bought things that I like, not things that I thought my husband would like on me. Don't get me wrong, I think he'll like these things on me, but I took care of my likes first. Wow. I'm pretty proud of myself.

And THEN, I came home, made myself lunch and met hubby @ gym for a work out. Awesome. Then I said "ciao" to my prince and I jumped into the pool to further my workout and keep the heart rate up for another 25 minutes. And I did it all for ME, not for anyone else. WOW! I'm really liking myself these days & it's showing up! I mean, I've always really enjoyed my personality, my sense of humor, but there were things... things I couldn't quite put my finger on that I'm finally recognizing and starting to take care of now. I realized that I want my girls to learn how to take care of themselves first (before they take care of their friends emotions or whatever) and the only way they're really going to learn that is if I take care of myself. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually.

I'm really enjoying this journey that I'm on: learning to chill out. Still.