Productivity = Happiness (???)

So both girls are in school twice a week these days. You know this. And I really thought I would have some time to myself and get to be very productive & enjoying my productivity alone. Productivity makes me very happy. I've been looking forward to this for a while now, right? So my first day alone was glorious. I tasted solitude @ Target & managed to be very productive and, as a result, quite happy by the time I had to lift Ari from preschool. Well, pretty much every Tues/Thurs since then, yup, I've been working my behind off purging and packing getting us ready for a move. Productivity has been the order but... I haven't been as happy as I would like. Maybe a bit stressed? Hmmm... Today was an exception though, I have to say. I think it's God's way of looking out for me honestly. He adores me, ya know. Story follows:

OK. So somehow over the weekend we managed to misplace the spare (and only) key to our second car (which is actually my sister's car on loan to us whilst she's out of the country for this year). Since we haven't been able to locate the key, we're back to being a one-car family. That means I was taxi-driver again this morning. As taxi driver my duties on a school day include dropping the girls at school by 9am then dropping Nathan shortly after that to his office. Today we had a 9:30 appointment to see a house in Santa Clara. Fine. See the house, then drop Nathan, then head home to enjoy a few hours to myself in solitude. Not so. While we were on our way to the 9:30 appointment he scheduled another appointment at 10am and then another at noon which followed his 11o'clock meeting and one more after that. Needless to say, my morning was shot. I had the hour from 11 till noon for myself. I had to decide what to do. Head home & get about 30 minutes of work done or… stay on the Row (near his job site) and shoot the breeze for an hour or WHAT? And wouldn't you know it; I had no book, no calendar, no clipboard with me no nothing to be productive with… So! I chose to just be. I headed to Peets for a warm chai latte, sat in the sun sipping away and then meandered over to Sur la Table (such a fabulous store for the foodie in me) to dream about all variety of ramekins and bamboo cutting boards. I found a bench outside bathing in the sun and decided to befriend it. I sat there and called my Dad. Then it was time to for the next appointment.

What a glorious hour that was from 11am-12noon. Not very productive according to my standards but it did produce a happy Me. There's something to consider certainly. What does productivity look like anyway, Marina?

The Sound of Silence.

After being taxi driver this morning for my two kiddos and my wonderful husband, I drove home. In silence. No radio, no music, no chatter (screaming, rather) in the backseat... just SILENCE. I almost forgot what that sounded like. It's beautiful. I highly recommend trying it for twenty minutes. As excercise for the body, I think silence might be kind of like medicine for the soul.

On Marriage

I came across this excerpt from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran recently. Words that perhaps I ought to take to heart in this marriage of my own. It deals with the "invasion of intimacy" as penned by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott (http://www.realrelationships.com/). Once married you understand the concept (along the lines of not borrowing your spouses toothbrush if that totally grosses him out).

On Marriage ~ Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together:For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Reasons for doing a jig

~ deep breath ~

Tomorrow my littlest starts pre-school ~ I italicized it only because, really... what IS pre-school? Other than the obvious (it's before real school) it's sort of like glorified day-care. Oh anyway, let me not get started down that path.

I'm writing during the usual time: NAP-time. MY time. I really try to make a point NOT to run around like a maniac doing the house-hold chores during their naps. This is "MY" time. It makes my mind think that I really DO have time that is only mine. It's not truth exactly but it FEELS like it is so... maybe it is? Actually, truth is perception. So, I PERCEIVE this is "my" time. (my GOD, I'm sounding like a psych student right now - David, are you reading this???)

ANYWAY!!! The whole point of sitting down to write THIS particular blog is to help my own self remember the days BEFORE my girls were both in "school" & think about the fact that I'm down-right happy that they WILL be in school.

House-hold chores are done around & with the girls, during their waking hours these days. When they were younger I DID do the chores whilst they were sleeping. Thankfully they grow and that means they grow out of those phases of completely destroying the thing(s) you JUST mended or folded (laundry) or cleaned (the bookshelf) or swept (kitchen floor) or... the list goes ON and on and on. That could be reason number one for jig on grand scale.

Now-a-days they play together very well, Hallelujah! Yet another jig-reason.

They also help with household duties. They both clear their places once they've finished a meal (LOVE that!) and are getting better at making their own beds, putting their own clothes away, putting their toys in specified areas, etc. To her credit, Mateja has actually been great at all of these things for a couple of years now. Getting BOTH children to these things simultaneously is cause for a jig on my part. Can't kick quite as high as perhaps I used to BUT as long as I continue with my stretching (a.k.a. yoga) I'll continue dancing jigs in celebration of these great feats my girls are accomplishing.

School for the littlest really means I'll get eight hours of "my own time" every single week. That's reason to do a jig right now!

I have to go back to the statement "they grow and that means they grow out of those phases" in order to reflect & remind myself of the days before school was part of our lives. They DO grow out of those phases: of just learning to crawl or walk, of learning to communicate, say words, laugh at the tiny things; of being teenie tiny wonderful babies. I guess that's when they start doing the jig - cuz then they can actually dance! And my girls do just that.

I miss the babies my girls used to be and the toddlers too. Now they are both considered "pre-schoolers" and then they'll be school-age. So whilst I am gettin' jiggy over here on the Pons' Court thinking about my own time upcoming, I'm remembering the days not that long ago when they were itty bitty and couldn't quite dance yet.

Just thinking about them that little makes me wanna...

Post-Christmas Down Time

After Christmas comes New Years of course and the celebrations and time off the norm schedule. It's "down time" but it seems filled with more stuff to do... like now it's time for the decor to come down. Today I have spent a great deal of time taking ornaments from the tree, wrapping them & stowing them but even more time unwinding the five strands of lights from around our once live tree. That's the thing about Christmas trees... they live a short life. They bring me so much happiness until then... Maybe one of these days I'll be able to buy a Christmas tree in a planter and then I can just transport it from outside to inside during the season and back out again... I know that false trees are all the rage, but I'm a mountain girl. It's like mockery. Not saying that I won't ever give into purchasing a false tree, but... there's got to be a better way.

Anyhow... the girls are down for their naps. Our tree is bare once again. Beautiful but no longer living. Sad. I'm taking a break before launching into the next phase of my "down time" which will include a broom, dust pan, vacuum and a lot of calorie burning. I guess that's a bonus.

The house is quiet right now, well other than the sound of the ticking clock and my fingers hitting the keys.

~~ deep breath ~~ long pause ~~

God is for me.